Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Inspiration

Perhaps I should begin this dissertation by saying that all of my life I have felt that I could have been more spiritual – that I should have done more to justify the promptings of the Holy Ghost – that I should have lived a more worthy life.  I confess that I am weak and that some of the things which I will speak of in this document were a gift to me, an unworthy servant.
Yet I have strived to live a good life and to serve the Lord.  In certain callings in the Church I was entitled to heavenly guidance, and, in spite of my weaknesses, the Lord chose to provide direction.  I have to admit that at times I did not realize I was being inspired until I looked back and realized that what had transpired was the Lord directing the actions which were taken.  I have felt that this fact, alone (that I did not realize it was inspiration at the time) indicates my lack of being in tune with the spirit as I should have been.

Perhaps another factor should be mentioned in the beginning of this document:  My father, who, in my opinion, was one of the great servants in the Kingdom of God, was a very practical man.  While I am not sure I heard it from him – although I think I did, it was from him that I learned the concept that inspiration is 99% perspiration.  In other words, Heavenly Father gave us an intellect and understanding and experience that should provide the base for us to make good and wise decisions – even those affecting others and our callings in the Church.

I distinctly remember my father saying (not the exact words, but close), “while it is good to counsel together, too often we spend too much time talking and not enough time doing.  While others are holding meetings, I can be out getting the job accomplished.”

So I grew up with a certain “self-confidence” that the Lord expected us to get things accomplished and that he would be there to help.  I suppose this is a form of faith which was inbred into my soul from the time I was very young.  It was, so to speak, the way of life in our home.

As I grew older – even after Kay and I moved, with our family to Utah, I noticed in many others, who are good solid members of the Church that they often relied on the counsel of the leaders of the Church to know what direction they should take in their lives.  While there is no question we should listen to our leaders and follow their counsel, it is my opinion that we, as parents, are entitled to inspiration for the direction of our own family.  As a matter of fact I feel that some members use this dependence on leaders and others for inspiration as a crutch rather than seeking guidance/inspiration directly from the Lord for their lives.  We should not have to be “commanded” or “counseled in all things.  I am convinced that it is not appropriate for us to “lean” on the direction of our leaders at the expense of being spiritually lazy.  If, as parents, we are prayerful and earnest in our desire to know what is best for our family, the Lord will guide us.  This same principle applies to our Church callings – we are entitled to inspiration for that calling and should seek and follow that inspiration when it is received.  As long as the promptings we have are consistent with the Gospel Plan and with the teachings of the Church, we can move forward with confidence, knowing that we are entitled to this direction from the Spirit.  We should not be spiritual cripples expecting to have others do our seeking and receiving our inspiration for us.

Perhaps I have shared some of these experiences before, but a couple are very current – so please indulge me.

Let me start with experiences of a recent vintage:

As is known to our family, one of the countries to which we are assigned as Humanitarian Missionaries is Haiti.  It is not a secret that, while we love the people there, and feel blessed to be able to be of service, Haiti is not a pleasant place to go.  As a matter of fact in a recent visit there Kay said, I believe this is my third least favorite place in the entire world to be.  On occasions she has even moved Haiti to number two.  In August of 2014, we had just completed a rather rigorous visit to Haiti and had told everyone we did not feel we would return until late spring of 2015.  However, we (maybe, really “I”) started getting some strong feelings that we needed to go back soon to do some planning for 2015 and to give some guidance to the two men with whom we work in that country.  In addition I felt we should evaluate how part of the Family Food Production Program was being administered (in particular the Training for the families that were participating in the member welfare projects).  It was just a “feeling” at first.  Knowing it was not a favorite thing for Kay (and even me) to do, I pushed the “feelings” aside.  The “feelings” became “nudgings” and the “nudgings” eventually became strong “impressions” to the point that it became clear the Spirit was giving us direction and could not be denied.  With Kay’s blessing we requested that we go back to Haiti to conduct a education and planning session with the two men we work with there, and to sit in on a Training being conducted in one of the Wards with Participating Families in a Chicken Project.  Permission was granted and we were back in Haiti within two months.

To indicate my weakness: I had some fear and trepidation about going back. I was not sure how the two men would accept the training (which was also going to be a planning session for 2015 for Haiti), and we only had suspicions that there were problems with the Training of the Participating Families.  Lack of faith?  Maybe.  But it motivated us to be very well prepared.

Just a word of explanation:  We have learned that the leaders around the world have little trouble finding “experts” to train people on how to raise chickens or other small animals.  What we have discovered is that knowing how to market the chickens or animals after they are raised is harder to teach, and that there are not as many “experts” available.  Things like budgeting, personal finance, and pricing as well as marketing become as big a challenge as raising the animals. 

We have some very successful projects in Haiti.  There have been problems, to be sure, but the successes are much greater than anticipated.  Much of the success is due to the fact that the local leaders are in charge and accept their stewardship earnestly.  In the approval process for each project, we require that the local leaders submit a resume of the person who they have selected to teach the various elements of the program including who is going to teach the “finance and marketing” course.  So we have done all we could to cover this matter, but it was about this type of training that we received the hardest “nudges” by the spirit.

On our visit to Haiti we allocated a full day to audit the Marketing and Finance Training for the Croix Des Bouquet 2nd Ward.  As you can imagine this is a course that could and should take about four hours and maybe that many hours in a couple of sessions.

I will not go into all of the gory details, but when we arrived at the building where Training was going to be held, all of the Participating Families were there, but the Trainer was not.  He arrived over an hour late.  As it turned out the trainer was not the person whose resume we had been given and approved. He was, however, the man of the household of one of Participating Families in another Ward.  Well, the training lasted for about an hour and was a disaster!  The brother was not prepared, did not stick to the subject and presented some incorrect information.  He gave no guidance on the important points that were intended.

Bingo!  Now we knew why we had received the inspiration (nudgings, impressions, etc.) to come to Haiti.  We dealt with the problem of that course, and with the translation help of one of the men we work with (a member of a Stake Presidency) we continued teaching  the class.  Obviously it was awkward because the brother who had come to train was in the room.  But we were able to make him feel good and finish as best we could.

Here is the rest of this story:  Because of this experience, the eyes of the local men we work with were opened (not sure why they did not understand the problem before our “nudgings” since at least one of them had sat in on Trainings before).  We were able to discuss the problem and possible solutions.  There were two obvious solutions:  First, if there was going to be a change in the Trainer, the new Trainer would have to be credentialed and approved.  Second, it would be necessary to have a course outline to provide to the trainers so that the salient points would be covered and could later be referred to by the Participating Families.  In addition some tools needed to be provided to the Trainers.

So that night Kay and I went back to the hotel, and I began to type a course outline. This was a key example of inspiration flowing.  I had prayerfully asked for help – and it came in torrents.  I began to type and the outline and the thoughts poured into my mind.  Within about three hours the Couse outline was completed and ready for review.  As we met with our associates the next day we scrutinized the outline and made a few corrections and adjustments, but the Curriculum for course that was prepared in one brief sitting was now ready for any instructor to use.  Later a couple of tools were added, but the basic outline remains intact.  There was no way that I could have written that Course Program by myself.  True, we had learned a lot over the years and we knew what many of the problems were, but organizing the thoughts and ideas for presentation would have taken days – even weeks to accomplish.

This was real testimony of how the Lord guides us.  In this instance as in most others, the Lord expected me to be prepared.  Over the past four or five years we have gained experience and have learned through our mistakes and successes.  We have come to be able to pinpoint areas of weakness and concern, and we have tuned our minds to spot problems.  So we have been prepared.  The Lord chose to use the promptings (which are a form of inspiration) to get us back to Haiti to address the problems and then the Lord opened my mind when the time came to produce the Training Document – which was direct inspiration.  Kay sat there as the document was being produced and had the same witness that I did – the hand of the Lord was directing the action that was taking place.

Now, you say, this is certainly an insignificant matter.  This is true.  This is also a testimony of the fact that regardless of what our calling might be, if we are serving the Lord and our fellow man, it is important to the Lord, and we can expect his direction if we seek it and if we are prepared.

When we receive spiritual promptings, if we do not act upon them, I am convinced that we will be held accountable for our inaction.  It is important to live so we can be guided by the Holy Ghost, and it is important to act upon the direction we are given by the Holy Ghost.

I am sure that all of you have had similar experiences.  I know that at times, when I have been working on a talk it seems that I have a mental barrier.  Then as I am contemplating and pondering and praying, thoughts come to my mind and I write on the paper almost as fast as my hands can go.  I remember the talk I gave on Gratitude so many years ago was written in a most unlikely place.  I knew that we had a “Night With The Stake Presidency” coming up, and I could not figure out what to talk about. This was a special event and required a message that would bless the lives of the members of the Willow Creek Stake.

I was on a business trip in a Motel in Kansas City – I can remember the experience like it was yesterday, and it was 30 years ago or more.  A thought came to my mind – pretty much out of nowhere, and I began to write the talk.  Inspiration?  It could not have been anything else.  The thoughts were certainly not in my mind just a minute before.  And that talk has been used for these thirty years or more on several occasions.  It sort of became a hallmark of my tenure in the Stake Presidency.  It was not of my doing – it was the Lord guiding me and using me to provide a message that he wanted delivered.

I remember when I was called as Bishop the first time.  We had a small group – with very few priesthood holders. And some of the priesthood holders we had were less than active and most were new in the Church.   I knew immediately who my first counselor should be – it was an obvious and clear decision.  However, I struggled and struggled with the second counselor.  After about a week, the time for the meeting where we would be sustained was drawing close, and I still did not have an answer.  I had visited several families on trumped up reasons to get better acquainted and had done all I knew to do to receive guidance – including fasting.  As I knelt by my bed petitioning the Lord a couple of nights prior to the meeting, all of a sudden a name came to me.  It was literally like a neon light with the name of the person who I should call. The name was not one that I had even considered.  As I finished my prayer, I had total assurance that my petition had been answered, and I knew who to call.  It turned out to be the right decision – because it came from the Lord.  That was about as dramatic a revelation as I have ever had.

There are a score or more experiences I have had where inspiration led and guided me.  I will not enumerate any more specific experiences here. 

There is one other area of inspiration which has impacted the life of our family which should be mentioned.  That is the inspiration we have received as we have made decisions where to live as a family.  Just a few comments about this:

The first instance which I would like to mention is the inspiration that James and Grace Cullimore, my parents, had to remain in Oklahoma City.  The same could be said for Morris and Juanita Haness, Kay’s parents.  Because of these two couples making the determination to live where they lived, Kelvyn and Kay met and became a family.  The story of Grace and Jim staying on Oklahoma City is legend – but there were circumstances regarding the move of Morris and Juanita that are also interesting.

I am personally convinced that our move as a family to Miami, Oklahoma (of all places) was inspired.  I think it had very little to do with the business reasons which motivated us to make the move - I am now convinced that the Lord needed some strength for the Church in this area and we were chosen.  There are many evidences of the hand of the Lord in the move – both for our own family and the many other individuals who were impacted. There is no way we could have known what was needed in Miami and also in the Oklahoma Mission where I served for two years.

The same could be said for our move to Branson, Missouri.  Just as in Miami, the business factors did not turn out as we had planned, but the impact on the Church in the area was significant.  Not that we were so great, but we became instruments in the hand of the Lord in teaching, training, and serving.  We were given inspiration and direction that made a difference.  The only credit we can take is that we listened to the Lord and tried to do His bidding.

If there is one thing that Kay and I have tried to incorporate into our lives it is, “I will go where you want me to go dear Lord, and I will do (at least try) what you want me to do.”

We feel it is inspiration that has lead us to “paths that we may not know.”  As mentioned above, these paths began when both James and Grace Cullimore and Morris and Juanita Haness were led to Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.  Then the paths took Kelvyn and Kay Cullimore first to Miami, Oklahoma then to Salt Lake City then to Branson, Missouri.  But that was just the beginning.  We could have never imagined that the Lord would ask us to go to Myanmar and then to 30 other countries in the world in His service.   

Just one thought about the inspiration of the Lord in directing our lives:  How could we deny inspiration in our move to Salt Lake City.  We had prayed fervently about where to move when it became clear that Miami, Oklahoma could not be our long-term location.  When we determined to move to Salt Lake City, we were confronted with a major determination as to where we should purchase or build a home.  We were seriously considering the Farmington area, but were having difficulty in making a decision. 

My father had just been filled a conference assignment to the Willow Creek Stake in the Sandy area of Salt Lake City.  He suggested we look there.  The timing of his visit, his impression with the area, and the subsequent events that led to our building a home in Willow Creek have all proven to be far more than a coincidence.  I am convinced it what the inspiration of our Father in Heaven that directed us to make our home in Willow Creek.  The future spouses of Kelvyn, Kirk and Kathi all lived in the same ward that we moved into in Willow Creek.  Kim was introduced to Mitch by a member of the ward we lived in.  How could we possibly deny the power of inspiration and the direction of the Lord in our lives? The destiny of our family was determined by that move!  We thank the Lord for His guidance and inspiration.

The stories are too numerous to iterate in this document, but I can bear record that the Lord has guided our lives through inspiration – mine individually and our family, each and every one.

I am grateful for the Lord’s direction in my life.  I know that God lives and I have a personal witness that He cares for us and will direct us if we allow him to do so.
The Holy Ghost is real and has been a power in my life.  I acknowledge that I have been blessed far beyond my worthiness.  For this I am most grateful.

Kelvyn H. Cullimore
February 2015



Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Aunt Wanda



Here is a photo which we took with aunt Wanda yesterday.  Wanda is 97 years old making her the oldest living relative on the Gardner or Cullimore Side.  Wanda is the youngest child of Albert and Luella Cullimore and the youngest sister of Grandpa Jim.

Wanda is weak physically but very sharp mentally.  She has the Cullimore sense of humor.  She is a fountain of knowledge about the Cullimore Family.

It was good to spend an hour with her.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Life is Short

A few weeks ago I was able to attend a funeral for the father of one of Jace's friend's. He was diagnosed with cancer in April and passed away in November at 55. We were not especially close with the family, but Jace really wanted to be there to support his friend.

This man was in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, and about half of the choir was at his funeral. They sang multiple musical numbers and filled the chapel with their angelic voices. During those songs, I was struck with how happy he must be, listening to his friends sing praises to his Savior as they celebrated this man's earthly life. Music is incredibly powerful. The spirit was palpable as we listened to them sing. It was a beautiful moment on a difficult day.

As his brothers and sisters spoke of him, there was such love and joy as they shared memories and moments with us. One brother talked about how as their lives had become busy, they had lost touch. He told the audience, "Don't wait until those you love are sick or dying before your reconnect and bond. Sometimes a text is not enough. Be with the ones you love. Support them. Really know them. Really love them."

The last thing that hit home was they way each speaker lovingly spoke of his kind and generous heart. He was a peacemaker and full of love, always willing to serve or share a smile. They talked about his humility...he worked most of his life for Deseret Industries, he was never going to be rich or famous or well known, but he shared his love and all he had with those around him. In the end, that is all the matters. The stake center was full to the stage with people whom he had touched along the way. I imagine he looked down at a life well lived. 

I was incredibly grateful to be at the funeral...grateful for my own life and the time I have here on earth and grateful for the fresh perspective I gained as I learned more about what it means to really live. 




THE HAND OF THE LORD HELPING GUMMY AND GUMPY IN HAITI IN A DIFFERENT WAY


As most of you know, we have a Humanitarian Assignment that takes us, literally, all over the world.  One of the countries to which we are assigned is Haiti.  Two and a half years ago we were asked to go to Haiti and develop a program whereby the people could be given the opportunity to become more self-reliant.
There have been so many times when we have felt the “hand of the Lord” guide us in this assignment in Haiti!  Just the fact that we were able to develop a program and implement projects which now involve some 240 different families in 12 Wards and Branches, is a virtual miracle in and of itself.  This could not have been done without the intervention of the Lord and his direct inspiration.  It certainly could not have been done through our own understanding and experience.

A particular example of the Hand of the Lord happened this (2014) fall:

The projects which have been developed in Haiti involve families raising chickens – primarily meat birds (broilers).  These are people with little or no experience in raising the chickens, and no experience in handling money or marketing their products.  So part of the program is training.  Specialists train in nutrition, construction of coops, how to raise and care for the chickens, and, perhaps most importantly on budgeting, personal finance and marketing.

We have felt good about the experts who have taught about nutrition and construction and how to raise the chickens.  There are local experts in these fields, and the results have been good.  The Church has a training program for businesses and finance, and there had been some local leaders in Haiti trained in this training program.  They had taken the first few projects and conducted the “finance” training.  It appeared at first that this was very adequate.

However, little things kept popping up which made us wonder.  Nothing major and nothing that would give us reason for real concern.  But when we made our visit to Haiti in September, we had very strong impressions that the Church Members who worked for the Church with whom we were working on the projects needed some additional training.  This need for training manifested itself in rather obvious ways.  In addition, we felt an uneasy discomfort about the training the families were receiving on the budgeting and finance and marketing.  There was nothing we could put our finger on, but the impression was so strong
that we could not “shake” it.

So we made a request that we be allowed to go back to Haiti in November (the last place we really wanted to go in November) and train the two men we worked with on their administration.  We determined we would visit projects with them, but would spend two full days just refining, planning and teaching.  Then we requested that we attend one of the training courses on Budgeting, Personal Finance and Marketing which was being given in one of the Wards which was instigating a new “Broiler” project.

Our training went well.  It became very obvious that the two men with whom we work needed further development in their skills.  So this part of the November trip was a huge success – and we felt the direction of the Lord the entire time we were meeting.

 Four or five hours were set aside to attend the financial training in the Ward – as a matter of fact we had allocated a full day for this.  We attended the training, and as the spirit had whispered, it was a disaster.  It was not well organized, the trainer was not well prepared, and the material presented was totally inadequate.  No one in Haiti had caught this in the other Wards.  Everything was reported as going well.  While there were little things that bothered us, there was nothing that would have been dramatic enough for us to ask for the opportunity of sitting in on a training.  It was totally inspiration.

So we stepped in and with the help of a local leader, took over and conducted the remainder of this particular training.  We made sure we did not offend the trainer, and actually he had done the best he knew how to do.

From this experience we learned that there needed to be a better understanding of what was to be taught, and that we needed to have more qualified Trainers.  It was obvious that we needed to be a curriculum for the course.

So that night we went back to our hotel, and sat down and made an outline of what needed to be taught in the course.  Then from that outline we prepared a detailed step by step outline of what the course should contain.  This was all accomplished in the space of about three hours or so.  There was no way that we as inexperienced and unknowledgeable people could have done this.  It was the hand of the Lord and there can be no question about it.  We were overwhelmed when, at the close of the evening we realized what had been accomplished.  We knelt and gave thanks for the guidance and direction we had been given.  The Lord had taken control and had insured that what needed to be done was accomplished.

It is hard to even explain this and have it as impactful as it was to us.  But we can testify that in this situation as in many others in Haiti and other countries, the Lord inspired us and took us by the hand and made it possible for us to accomplish what needed to be done – even things that we did not know needed to be done.


The Lord is in charge and if we listen to the whisperings of the Spirit, He will lead us and direct us.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Keaton: Hand of the Lord

I am running out of time, but I have a pretty cool story that happened yesterday. I sat down next to this lady on the bus, and I tried to give here a card and start a conversation. She initially ignored me and then took a card. She then mentioned that she was having a bad day, and I just simply replied I hope that it gets better. She looks at her phone for five minutes , and then she asks where can she get a Book of Mormon. At this point we were at our stop, but we stayed on the bus and were able to get her number, and hopefully see her this week. I thought that was a cool miracle, it is the little things that you do that make a difference sometimes. 

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

The Lord Builds Us Up: Gummy and Gumpy

Dear Family:

When we talk about the hand of the Lord in our lives, we sometimes overlook some of the obvious.

Somewhere along the line the Lord has blessed us with energy and vigor (when we say “us” we mean our family – not just Gummy and Gumpy).  Isn’t this the hand of the Lord?  Almost without exception, couples tell us after our visits that they cannot imagine how we get everything done and how much energy we have.  The comments from the couple below are quite typical.

We just thought – this energy and vigor is a great example of the hand of the Lord in our lives – and we are most grateful.  We can take no credit for this personally – it is a gift from Heavenly Father.  This gift of energy and vitality has certainly made it possible for us to be an instrument in His Hands quite a bit beyond the age which you would expect to be functioning in the type of work we are doing.  We acknowledge this special blessing and give thanks to the Lord for granting us this opportunity.

Mom & Dad

From: Jeffrey Hy Talley [mailto:jtalley@ldschurch.org]  E/S Talley are the Humanitarian Senior Couple with whom we worked for the past couple of weeks in Peru. They are ten years younger than we are.

Dear Elder and Sister Cullimore, 
We hope your trip to Ecuador and back to the States was successful and safe. 
Taking a little time to reflect on the 10 days you were here in Peru with us, leaves us with no doubt that this part of your trip was very successful. 

Our first thought and feeling is one of much gratitude to both of you for your time, efforts and knowledge that you have been willing to share with us. And we are very grateful to our Heavenly Father for the many wonderful experiences we had with you during our trips to Chiclayo and Iquitos. We feel that your tireless efforts and hard work will be a great blessing to the people here in Peru and to us.

Our second feeling and thought is, where do you get the energy to do all that you do? I believe Audrey and I both came away feeling like wow, we need to get in better shape if we want to stay up with the Cullimore's. You are a great example of getting things done and giving service when most would be taking a more easy road in life. Thank you for your example!

Thank you again for all that you have done and for your friendship. We will do our best to move this work forward in a way that will hopefully be productive and sustainable. 

We will keep you posted on our progress and look forward to more opportunities in the future to work together with you in this great work that we have been blessed to participate in. 

Muchisimas Gracias por todo, 

Jeff and Audrey 

Healing Power of the Lord: Teisha

This is such a difficult experience for me to share but I honestly cannot think of a better example of the Healing Power of the Lord and I hope that each you can see how powerful the Lord truly is in our lives.
As many of you know Tommy and I have hit a very difficult path in our marriage…  The end of March Tommy and I had started fighting about his relationship with a co-worker and within a week he had decided to move out. He moved in with this woman and in all since of the word “gave up” on life. He began having an affair with her and started neglecting his family. Once he made this decision things moved very quickly on my end. I filed for divorce immediately. Things continued to escalate between us in a negative way.   The first of June Tommy started telling me he wanted to fix our marriage and how truly sorry he was…. As you can imagine I was beyond angry.  He had gotten his own place and had started taking the steps of repentance. I say steps because meeting with the Bishop is one small step, to truly repent of something you must transform and take action to ensure those mistakes do not happen again.  In the beginning I did not care what he said I was set on going through with the divorce and moving on with my life…. But throughout the month my heart started to soften and I began to realize how important my eternal family was.
I can truly testify of the healing power of the Savior from my experience. I don’t think I ever truly understood the Atonement until I was put in this situation. I am a very stubborn person who has the attitude that I can do everything on my own…. Also extremely prideful so for me to try and forgive Tommy in my mind was I sign of weakness.  Through the Power of the Atonement my heart has softened more than words can express.  At the first of June I literally could have cared less if I ever talked to Tommy again in my life but now I am fighting to save my eternal family. Only the Atonement and the Lord could make such a drastic change in someone’s heart.  I have never been alone in this trial in life and I know the Lord has watched over me and my children and given me the strength to endure this trial.
I want to include this in here as almost a warning to others…. Nurture your Marriage.  Tommy is without a doubt my best friend and the person I chose to spend eternity with but we became selfish in our marriage. Tommy became very self focused and we both lost focus as to what truly mattered in life. We did not do family prayer, scripture study, family home evening, we never truly understood how to make our family grow in the correct direction.  We also did not nurture our marriage—Tommy and I rarely took a night out without our children and we have not taken a vacation for the two of us in over 5 years.  You must do this. Reflecting back on my marriage with Tommy I can tell you where our short comings were and how we got to such a difficult trial in our life.  Tommy grew up with a very difficult background- his mom abandoned him at a young age and his father was emotionally abusive. I only include this because they way Tommy handled our problems was a learned behavior; your spouse might not handle something as extreme as Tommy did but that does not mean your marriage is safe.  Nurture it, love your spouse!
Trials are given to us for a reason and although it is so difficult to see while going through the trail we always come out stronger. Dieter F Uchtdor states, “It is often in the trial of adversity that we learn those most critical lessons that form our character and shape our destiny.” Without a doubt this is true for me. I have learned the true meaning of the atonement, I have learned the healing power of the Savior, and I have learned what kind of person I want to be and what kind of mother I will be.
Tommy and I both want to fight for our eternal family and although I know we have a very difficult road ahead of us I know that through the healing power of the Lord I will be able to forgive Tommy for his transgressions and that we will be able to grow together in our marriage if we both truly turn our will to God.   Lastly, I want to reference an article that made such a strong impact on me when deciding what to do in my marriage:  https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2007/04/divorce?lang=eng